The day of the tent worms

I don't know how many summers we spent going up to Kennerdall. Two, three maybe four but each time there was excitement of some kind...My mother and Mae used to go out in the aluminum boat and fish. They had their fishing licenses on their hats and loaded with bate and poles...One time I specifically remember they returned with nearly 30 suckers..They had little pink mouths that stuck out..they were on stringers and when they returned they were still alive and breathing...It seemed to be a big joke that all they returned with was a stringer of sucker fish. I remember, Frank caught a huge cat fish (he used to go out late at night with a lantern to capture helgramites. I think these were flying bugs)...This fish looked like a whale to me...It was so big they put it in the spring until they could clean it...That catfish looked at least 6' long...I remember when they skinned it, they had to pull the skin off with pliers and it was tough..I remember when Frank killed it...they put a spike on top of it's head and drove it down through it's skull. It boinged back like rubber. Over and over again he tried to penetrate that skull. Finally it broke and the fish died...Those memories stayed with me for a life time...One time my Dad caught a bass and while cleaning it, I watched him...and as he was cleaning it he told me of all the parts he removed...one of these was the fish's heart. I asked him if I could have that heart...He laughed and cut it out and handed it to me on my hand...I also remember watching it beat...right there..it throbbed in the palm mof my hand...I held it until the movement stopped. I felt so sad!!..I knew that we would eat the fish, but for the heart to be beating in my hand, made me feel death. I felt the actual death of that fish!! It is hard to explain...but I think compassion dripped into me drop by drop for the first time!!....But the thing I remember most was when I collected a paper bag full of tent worms..I thought they were so beautiful and wore so many beautiful colors on their backs....I spent all day collecting them and putting them in the bag to take home...I have no clue why!! But, I remember packing to go home and my father saying, they better not get out...with a laugh as we drove away...I laid the bag down behind my fathers seat as we started home. Soon, I fell asleep. The bouncing of the van opened the bag one bump at a time. The tent worms..crawled out. All over the van and of course up the back of my fathers seat in the car...Suddenly, I heard him yelling and I woke up!! The tent worms had escaped and entered the back of my fathers neck and his shirt...Not to mention, I was the victim of a huge scolding...and a possible spanking..That I don't remember...I remember only twice, did my father actually spank me ..but the spanking I remember most, happened long after this episode!! Needless to say, my family wasn't in a very good mood trying not to kneel or step on the worms...If you did the squish exuded a bright green goo....Needless to say...IT WAS A LONG TRIP HOME!!

My first funeral

When we used to spend the weekends in Kennerdall at Mae and Franks cottage. Everyone looked forward to Friday. We didn't have any pets at that time and for some reason I received an Easter baby duck. It was a little yellow fuzzy duckling and I named him Quack Quack. I really don't remember where he came from or why I had him, I just remember the day he died!!...We were in the trailer park and getting ready to leave to head up to Mae and Franks. When a neighborhood dog, came and attacked poor little Quack, Quack....He shook him, I screamed and the duck was in peril, the dog dropped him and ran. My mother doubted he would live. I picked him up and we put him in a box. We took him with us that weekend. Quack Quack died. I cried. The drive seemed long, I remember and I spent most of it looking at the duck. Wondering how you could be alive one minute and the next minute you were dead...What amazed me is he could be up and running and enjoying life and then because of one grab and a few shakes he lay silent and dead!!...It was so sad, He didn't do anything to that dog. He was just a wonderful duck. I could kiss his head and he liked it....His feathers were so soft and he was old enough to have white, soft feathers ....He was full grown by a few months and now he lay dead!!...When we got up to Mae and Franks I ran and told Mae, we all agreed we would have a funeral for him. They were so kind to know of my sadness...Everyone laughed but it was heart breaking for me...This was my first experience with death...Frank dug a small hole, right along the path that went down to the river...I could even today, take you to the exact spot where Quack Quack lay...We lined the hole with big green leaves and flowers....We slowly and with much love laid Quack Quack in the hole and we covered him with leaves and flowers....finally after saying goodbye. We covered him up with the dirt that laid on the side of the hole...I watched while the dirt fell over him and went to the bottom of the hole and fell onto the leaves...Finally one shovel at a time. We no longer could see him. The dirt covered him completely...I felt such a feeling of loss and despair...I lost a very good friend...My pet duck!! My Quack Quack...We took a few branches and shaped them into a cross and wound dandelion stems in and out of the wood where the cross met. Gracefully we posed it into the soft dirt at the head of the grave...It was done. My Quack Quack was gone, his life was finished and I was without his love...and he was without mine...I spend much of that weekend watching that grave...Every time I walked by, I said a little "Goodbye Quack Quack"....My first loss of a loved one...I remember so strongly every detail...Things that happen to us during our life are a precursor to prepare us for times we may have to experience..Times that help us get through bigger and stronger feelings of loss...How good God is to let us feel emotions and prepare us for what we might need before the day we need it!!