My mothers lady friend named Jean Conselme was Catholic, she had many beautiful pairs of rosary beads...and she would give them to me. I wore them everyday...and covered my jersey tops with medals of Saint Joseph..I had no idea what any of it meant...I just knew it made me feel closer to God, it made me feel safe, and protected...Another person held a special place in my heart. His name was Stanley Moses. I only remember his name because my mother would tell me the story!! I was very small for my age and people treated me small..Baby like, and one day Stanley brought me a little jacket his mother had crocheted. It was wrapped up in tissue and he presented it to my Mom for me...He reminded her that this jacket was just like Josephs, a coat of many colors....Knowing who Joseph was because of what I learned in that Bible School summer, I was honored ....I don’t recall Stanley or his mother, but I still have that little multi-colored crocheted jacket!!! I don't remember ever wearing it but here it is...Still hanging on to it...over 50 years it has traveled with me from place to place..Just like Joseph.. Many things have come and gone in my life, but this little jacket always reminded me from whence I came!!! This was the beginning of a life long spiritual journey of LOVE!!! The strange thing is even when you’re a child, God instills spiritual desires in your heart. Little things mean so much to you when your a child...and it all stays in your heart...Your spirit holds them and they grow. God draws us to himself, from the beginning of time...He knew us in our mothers womb!!!During those early years probably near the Summer Bible Time my sister and I attended church service across the street from the trailer park. It was held in the basement of the West Mifflin Fire Hall. We went every Sunday, to church and Sunday School. On the same side of the highway was a little store. A Mom and Pop store called "Shortys". It was just a small block looking building with a door in the rear. Behind Shortys Store they built a plan of homes called The Baldwin Plan. Little brick houses with one car garages and driveways. Built in the 50's most of the new homes were small bungalow types. I remember thinking people who live in those houses must be very rich. We were very poor, but we were so very happy! My father used to call it "slap happy"...I never did know what that meant!! But, as my life opened up and took on a spiritual desire to learn more about God and his love...The happiness we had then could never compare to the happiness that God places in our heart because of His love for us...Thank you so much Lord, for YOUR LOVE!!! FOR YOUR PROTECTION!! AND FOR YOUR HOLY SPIRIT!...........

The summer of my second grade we moved from Lebanon Junior High School to a brand new red brick school. It had lots of windows and was all on one floor. It was built down over the hill past where the little red and white trolley came to take us to town under a huge concrete underpass. The trolley ran on electric wires along a line. Sparks would fly from the lines when it would make turns or stops. We didn’t travel on the trolley often because we never really went to town much or shopped for that matter. Only on a special occasion. I think maybe two or three times we rode the trolley, and it was fun. I loved getting to get my little paper ticket from the conductor. I recognize it now to be the pass to change from one trolley to another.
My new school was called Walnut Grove. My new teacher was Miss Manandez. She was a very nice school marm like person, quiet and kind. I no longer would have to have a watchful eye open nor be run over by those horrid junior high students anymore. For some reason, we took a cab everyday down the hill to school and back. I guess they had no buses. I just remember getting into a yellow cab with other students heading to the new school. We all came from the trailer park. The memories of the past year, my horrible first grade experience now were all over.... but not forgotten.
That second grade summer was one of the most remarkable times of my life. A summer I will never forget. This summer would be a building block for the rest of my life. One of the ladies in the park held a Summer Bible Time. To this day ..I don’t know her name, nor do I remember her face...but I do remember every Bible story she told... Adam and Eve, Moses and the burning bush, Joseph and the coat of many colors, and more. She used a flannel graph board, with colored figurines. The big flannel board had backgrounds on every page and when one story was finished she flipped it over to the next background for the next Bible story. The cutouts stuck to the board...and as she told the story, she animated the figurines...telling the story!!! Looking back I realize now...this women was doing what God had laid on her heart. She was spreading the gospel to the children in the park. She was the first person to tell the truth of Gods word. She knew that words spoken to a child heart are never returned void. I attribute and count her a huge instrument of my salvation. A salvation I would experience years later. At the end of the summer, I had learned much of the Old Testament stories...and was rewarded with a glow in the dark, light blue colored cross. It had a braided white tassel...Imprinted in the cross was the saying.."GOD IS LOVE"...I held that cross under the lamp every night and tucked it under my pillow to go off to sleep...I wonder just what happened to that cross, somehow, some where I lost it along the way, but the memories it brought will forever be burned into my heart, into my soul!!

School and ice cream troubles

My first grade came with many degrading moments. One that stands out in my mind was the day Mrs. Bush, the nasty teacher, would not let me go to the bathroom...I remember that day, I had to be excused. I held my hands up until I thought they would fall off...trying to keep my arms up to be recognized, holding my arm, the right, then the left. Up and up switching one from the other...making sounds of urgency. Try to get her to acknowledge my need. She did not, she would not. I held it and held it..until I could not hold it anymore and all of a sudden I wet all over my clothes and all down the floor..She was furious! She made me go to the nurses office. There I had to wash my panties out and hang them on the hot water register to dry. Then with a little short dress on, had to go to lunch with no underwear and sit on a long cold steel lunch table bench, trying not to expose any part of myself...It was something I will never forget. The next first grade disaster, I remember, was when I wanted to take home a cho cho cup. They were little chocolate ice creams in a white, paper cardboard container. The lid was the same and one had to take the tab off to expose the ice cream inside. I loved those little ice creams and wanted to take mine home to show my mom. Never thinking it would melt all over and drip out. That night I forgot it in my desk. It melted all over the floor, the next day lay my cho cho cup in liquid form on the floor under my desk. Mrs. Bush came and asked me what that was. Frightened, I said, I didn’t know!! She investigated and not to my surprise there was a soggy, warm cho cho cup. The contents melted to the floor. She then instructed me to go to the janitors closet and get a mop and clean it up. My older sister was in sixth grade at the time. She was up stairs in her class. So heading to get the mop. I wanted some comfort from her, so I walked up the steps and knocked on the door of her room. They were taking a test, I interrupted it and was told to go back to my room. I did. With that, I was instantly escorted to the front of the room and thronged over Mrs. Bush’s lap and paddled in front of the rest of the class, watching on. I tried not to cry, but I did. I guess I cleaned the mess up...that I don’t remember. But I did remember never to bring ice cream home with me again!!

A total act of kindness

My first memories of school were like a nightmare. Along with my grandmother sending me off in small dresses, then getting run over in the hall to catch my bus home. I remember the first show of complete love and affection. It came from one of the janitors at this Lebanon Junior High School. During one of those first days, I had a total breakdown. I took a huge temper tantrum right in front of the lockers that lined the halls. I began to cry and sob uncontrollably. I was only 5 years old starting first grade. I really don’t think I was ready to leave the safety of my home. Thus, the feeling of my Mom wanting to get rid of me to have this new baby. I don’t recall exactly when, wether it was the first day of school, or later that week. But, I do remember the feeling of total abandonment. My Mom gone off to have a baby, I didn’t want. My grandmother stepping in and taking over frustrated, not knowing what to do. My father busy working and my teacher, Mrs. Bush. She was a nasty lady, mean and unconcerned about anyone. Lying on the floor, sobbing and crying having a screaming fit of passion, feeling abandoned and alone. A janitor came and kneeled down beside me. He put his arm around me and had pity on my. I still remember the compassion and love in his voice, some 50 years later. He said, " You must be very sad, I know your are sad, or you wouldn’t be crying like this. How about if you get up, go into school today and tomorrow I bring you a brand new book of paper dolls. How about that?" For a five year old to remember so vividly this act of kindness, from a man I didn’t even know! I agreed, he helped me get up and brushed my hair back. I got up and went into my class. The next day, he did just as he said. He brought in a brand new book of paper dolls. I know I will see that man in heaven some day, for his love and compassion to a five year old. Because it was so great!..

The trailer park we lived in was call Brosches Trailer Park, Mr. Brosches was not pleased with me. I was a tom boy, climbing trees and falling out of them. One day unconscious and he had to cut them down to keep me out! I remember the day I pointed my index finger into the face of aa little red headed girl named Susan. She bit my index finger to the bone..it bled along time and I carried that scar on my finger for along time...Mr. Brosches would repair sidewalks with wet cement...and after spending along time making it just perfect. He watched me, watch him and warning me, not to touch this wet cement...He threatened me if I did ...Well, the minute he turned his back, yep you guessed it..I walked right through it...It was just like that...if there was something I wanted to find out I did just that....I found out!! I ate earth worms...not because I was hungry but because they looked so good. Moist and tasty...I watched them crawl in and out and still can remember just what they taste like...Dirt, they taste like gritty dirt..I would suggest if you are planning on having one...don’t!!! You will be disappointed!!!..they look better than they taste.We always had so much fun at that trailer park...in the summer we played "Release" until midnight. There were so many kids and we all played together....my childhood was fun!! I remember when I learned to tie my shoes...I remember when I got my first bicycle the summer of my sixth birthday. My mother told me not to take my shoes and socks off, but of course, I did...When my father came from work, he whistled for me to come home and there I was no shoes and no socks...I knew I was in big trouble, but instead...guess what...he had a brand new blue and white bike with a little small red stripe....I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t even get in trouble for being in my bare feet!!!...We climbed cherry trees and ate cherries until our stomach ached. We slept out all night in my Dad’s panel truck....My father owned one of the first TV and Radio business in Dormont called Curry’s TV ...he repaired, sold TV’s...as well as installing radios in automobiles from all the car dealers on West Liberty Ave. Radios had to be a special order to be installed in new cars. They were not built in. My father would go down and install radios into the models made for special order.....back then the TV’s were 5" black and white and had condensers and tubes...
I remember my father losing his temper with his glasses on top of his head...when he would soder the resisters together and then the TV still wouldn’t work...I remember the smell of the soder coming off of the hot metal rod that came out of the sodering gun..When I was six years old my father would take me to work with him on Saturdays. One of my friends Evie Oliver’s dad had a lock smith business right behind my Dad’s business on West Liberty Ave. We both spent the day roam the stores in Dormont...Isleys, Woolworths, and we always went to the Saturday matinee movie. We sat in the balcony of the small theater, which still is standing, and threw juju beads down on people heads!! Oh those were the days!!!...

The plan started on the 21st of January

I always felt I was meant to be here. Now I know I was right. I was born in the dead of a January day. My father drove my mother to the Allegheny General Hospital and if he had stopped for one more red light. I would have pushed my way into the world in the back seat of a 41 Ford. My childhood normal and full of fun. I lived with my parents and my older sister. She was six years older than me. On my first day of school at five years old, my little sister came into the world. My whole world sank My grandmother came to stay with us. She watched us, cooked dinner, and got us off to school. That was the first time I felt a strong streak of rebelliousness. My grandmother had no idea of our regular routine. She dressed me in a dress that was way to small...I argued and cried my way to the school bus. I was only 5 years old when I started first grade. I had convinced myself it was because my mother had a new baby now...and she wanted rid of me. The first day of school when the bell rang to go to the bus...I exited the door of my first grade and was trampled by herds of older kids..They knocked me down and dragged me down the hall. I had black eyes, and bumps but survived. Our grade school was in session with the middle school, so most of the people in the school were taller. I was very small, even the smallest in first grade. I made it through that and hated my little sister, I used to pinch her hard she would cry and I would say I did nothing. I watched my mother breast feed her and the hatred grew in my heart. I was a very curious child as well as an adult...but then it got me in a lot of trouble. I walked on wire clothes lines to walking right through wet cement that was just poured and finished...I jumped off of roofs of cars thinking I could defy gravity with a towel around my neck pinned on with a safety pin. I swallowed pennies, and windshield nuts that my father asked me hold. It just seemed trouble would always find me...and I was always willing to obey it.

In the beginning...

As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to do what was right...I guess you could say I was led down the pure and wholesome path of life. However I didn't always go in that direction. Most people can relate to this feeling of wanting to do right. But, human nature draws you...into the caves of lies and deceptions. When you get to the end, you have lost sight of the entrance. The light is fading, and you lose your footing. Now all the roads from the end are narrow and dark. The bright light twinkling far off at the end of each exit. In my following blogs I am going to try to search and understand just what and how things happened. To start from my beginning to where I seem to be at the present time. I'll start from when I can remember. To a life, where I am now...my present, my future looming, ahead of me, hidden...to all but apparently closer to the end than the beginning!! I do know this, I have been taught and have learned "to bloom where I am planted!!!" THROUGHOUT!